Just to prove that you don’t have to always act or be perfect to succeed in this industry, let me just dive right in with some examples of where I have wholeheartedly failed!

In one of my first jobs as a “rescue” producer (hired to fix a broken show), I inherited a existing staff. And that staff was happily working at a slow pace, in an inefficient way, with a lot of last-minute cleaning up to do. So I quickly examined the production process and threw the whole model out. With my new model, we were completing way more work in far less time, meeting the deadlines, going home at better hours, delivering the right things to the network the first time out…and my staff was miserable. They didn’t care about efficiency and deadlines! They just liked to come to work with each other. And I hadn’t respected or valued the importance of friendship and loving where you work. I wasn’t respecting the environment I worked in. I had to change. So there were more staff lunches and happy hours and funny cards and gifts, etc. Not everyone came around because I’d upset them so much with the changes. Others followed me to other jobs and started incorporating my system into their own shows.

At another job, several years later, I again inherited a staff. They were miserably working at a manic pace, in a stress-filled environment, and they hated coming to work each day. I tried introducing more fun things to the work experience. They still hated it. I met with them to hear what wasn’t working and custom-designed solutions to fix the problems they struggled it. They hated the show more, and now they hated me, too. I made it through the first season and never made one dent in the staff’s experience or attitude. It was just misery for all of us. But for my part, I wasn’t respecting the fear they were feeling. The show was too big, the new systems were too foreign, the deadlines were too brutal. I simply could not fix their fear. And this time, I couldn’t change myself to make things better. So instead, I changed my deals. I no longer accepted a show unless I got to hire my own staff. I wanted to surround myself with people who weren’t afraid of making TV in a different way. On other shows, sometimes that worked, and sometimes, it failed, too.

Even though some of my hardest efforts have been failures in the small picture, with problems I couldn’t fix or even made worse, they all were huge advances for me personally and professionally. I talked in depth with my network exec on one show about what I could do to make the staff’s life less awful, and he became a confidante and advisor to me after that show. He trusted my compassion for my staff. I learned how to deal with people on their own terms…and when to stop investing in people who didn’t want to be helped. I learned to change as quickly and as adeptly as I needed to so my shows and my staffs could thrive. I grew so much in every victory and letdown because I was, and still am, dying to learn things I didn’t already know.

Can I also add why I think some people succeed? Success happens when you learn before you leap, work yourself dizzy because you love what you’re doing, contribute more than you reap and recognize even the small moments as gigantic blessings. Again, “attitude determines altitude.” Don’t think you’ll be the person who can bypass that formula. Consider adopting it just to prove me wrong by failing. You won’t.

I have to keep going on the “attitude determines altitude” theme for people who are trying to rise in entertainment. Some people think that looking successful will actually replace being successful - or working hard to get there! So the question I want you to ask yourself, if you find yourself getting nowhere in your Hollywood dream is…

DO YOU FRONT? COME ON NOW, DO YOU?

• Do you wear sunglasses inside, when you are not blind, even when you are speaking to people? Psssssst. You look young and unexposed and unsure of yourself. That’s true even if you are famous. If Sidney Poitier and Kathleen Kennedy and Mira Nair can work a room without shades, so can and must you.
• Do your business cards say “Executive Producer” though you have never raised the funding for a produced film? That means if you meet a real executive producer, they might see you as competition instead of a fantastic new talent they can groom or give advice and mentorship to.
• Is your first question in every interview, “How much am I being paid?” Enough said.
• Do you stubbornly defend your writing and professional and creative choices to anyone who offers you feedback on them? If you are intent on presenting yourself as already knowing all there is to know…no one will ever want to teach you what you’d love to learn.
• Are you leasing a luxury vehicle or watching a 42″ plasma HDTV on your leather couch but do not have a top of the line computer and all of the software, tech gear and media components you need to make it in this industry? Sell off the lease. Buy a camera and audio and lighting equipment and hard drives and Microsoft Office and Final Cut or Avid Express and First Draft, etc.

The sooner you start to embrace the attitude of being successful rather than the appearance of it, the sooner people’s perception of you will shift. The attitude is not, “Hey, I’m a big man! Check me out!” It’s “Hey, I respect what you do and am making my way through this maze. How can I contribute to your dream with what I have to offer - ’cause I know I’m going to learn something along the way?”

It’s frustrating how often I’m offering free advice to a Hollywood newcomer, and the recipient cuts me off by saying, “So who are you? Have I ever seen you before?” That single statement says that the entire standard for validity in that person’s world is having a famous or recognizable face. Welcome to our culture of celebrity - and to your biggest obstacle to making your entertainment dreams come true.

Let me please say that I have never been and don’t have any goal of being famous due to a career in entertainment. I am, instead, fulfilled due to my career in entertainment. At one point in the past 20+ years, I have met my own standard of validity and success - I have paid my rent/mortgage, car note, grocery bills, utilities, supported my french fry habit, socialized with friends and traveled extensively thanks to steady professional income in show biz. That includes runway modeling, acting, singing and songwriting, screenwriting and now television producing. I love what I do, though I confess I don’t always love doing it.

You know what I DO love? Always? Mentoring people. I’ve had some amazing supporters in my life, and it means a great deal to me to help other people see the real entertainment industry, warts and more, and find a place inside of it. I’ve seen people soar here…and I’ve seen people really burned out and hurting. And the difference between those two spaces is who you believe you are, what you are here to achieve, and what you can learn about achieving it.

I want to help you see, accept, experience and thrive in this very tough business. And for that, you don’t need to know who I am. You need to know what I know.

Read on.