This is a tough post to publish, but it’s just so important! The message of this missive is simple: stop asking people to hire you. STOP IT. It is not only not an effective way to break into the industry, it is a sure way to drive away the very people who are able to help you.

Does this sound counterintuitive? Completely against the whole concept of “taking initiative”? Let me explain.

If you have few or no credits (and little or no income), you know the frustration/panic of not knowing how you’re ever going to break through the gates of the entertainment industry and get both recognition for your passion AND a paycheck for your bills. That’s a given, and that’s entirely valid and understandable.

But take a moment before you ask the next person you’ve just met to hire you to visualize the same scenario OUTSIDE of the entertainment industry. If you’d just met the senior partner of a law firm, and had neither work experience in a legal firm nor a law degree, would you open and/or close the conversation with a request to be hired? I hope not! Because if you did, the head of that firm would not be impressed by your passion for law. They would be baffled by your lack of understanding of how one gets hired to work in a law firm. They also might be a bit miffed by your lack of respect for what they do since you think that someone with no experience merits some of their hard-earned income. And finally, they might really like you and appreciate your enthusiasm for their field, but they already have a long line of entry-level applicants they’ve already got a relationship with and will offer the next opening to.

Notice the “entry level” qualification in that sentence. That’s because if you are approaching the head of a law firm with no experience or degree and asking to be hired as an attorney, well, you are insane and deserve the outraged expression you are about to see on his or her face. But you know that already. In fact, you would never dream of asking a senior partner at a law firm to hire you as a lawyer if you had no background qualifying you to do so!

Now, if you understand that boundary in the legal arena, but you approach employment differently in the entertainment industry, you are setting yourself up to fail. It is imperative that you enter this field recognizing and respecting it as a real business. Your passion for medicine will not earn you a spot in the operating room if you have no degree, and your passion for Hollywood will not earn you a gig in this industry if you have nothing to bring but your passion. And why should it? Why would you demand to be paid top dollar as a surgeon if you have no idea how to perform surgery…and why would you demand to be paid any dollars as a filmmaker if you have no idea how to make films?

Now I know you might be saying: “I know how to make films!” “I know how to write a script!” “I know how to produce a TV show!” “I know how to act!” Can I ask you, for one moment, to consider the possibility that if you have not already done one of these things, professionally, and regularly paid your bills doing so…that there is something, in fact, much…that you do not in fact yet know?

Still with me? Okay, now what if your approach to the industry became “What do I need to learn to succeed here?” rather than “How much can I get out of this as quickly as possible so my dreams can immediately come true?” What if you slowed down a little and decided to learn before you leap?

As soon as your energy becomes “What do I need to learn?” instead of “What do I want to earn?,” your experience in this game is going to change. FAST!

Here is my suggestion to you the next time you meet someone you’re dying to work for. Don’t tip the balance of the exchange by becoming a “supplicant,” someone with their hand out for a job. And don’t end the possibilities of the meeting by pretending you know or have done more than you have done. Instead, talk to that person with passion about what they do! People in the industry work the most ridiculous hours you can imagine, as will you. And they do it because they are obsessed with what they do. Let them talk. Learn from what they know. Buy them a cup of coffee or a glass of wine. THANK THEM FOR THEIR TIME. And walk away from that exchange without asking for something additional in return.

I do mean something “additional.” Information is money in this industry and every other one. Someone’s precious time and pearls of wisdom are worth a lot to you if you listen and learn. Don’t add to that generous gift by also asking them for money!

If you find a connection between a talented person and yourself, this is a person to follow up with later and ask if you can give THEM something back in RETURN! This is the person you want to VOLUNTEER for. Now that you know what they do, figure out what skills and contacts and assistance you can offer them. And this is key: don’t offer to do something for them that will help make your dreams come true; offer to help them achieve one of their own goals. Because once you do that, you’ve evened the exchange, and the ball is in their court now to want to help you! And if you go in and do an incredible volunteer job, believe me, they will want to help you.

I cannot count the number of times I’ve had this conversation with new people in the industry. I CAN count, however, the number of times they’ve sent me a thank you note and asked me for a job, despite all I’d just told them. Do you think I hired them? Of course not! They couldn’t follow the simple, free advice I’d just given them; I knew they might once again think they knew better than I do when I gave them instructions to do something at work at my company! Why would I take that risk when I already have a long list of people I’m already hoping to help move ahead?

On the other hand, the one…and I do mean ONE…person who followed up with me and offered to work for free for a week (on a massive show) in order to cross out of music videos into TV production….well, we hired her at the end of the first day. She was that good.

Are(n’t) you?

I keep saying “attitude is altitude.” I’ve talked a lot about what attitude you should not have. Now here’s the attitude that will help you thrive in the business.

• In life, you get exactly what you give. Don’t think because you don’t have stature or money that you have nothing to give to Hollywood! Time and simple talents are great assets to everyone. And don’t think that because you do have stature or money you don’t need to give (”I got mine!”). You stay relevant in entertainment by staying connected and useful to everyone around you.
• You’re not competing with anyone. No one can do exactly what you do. You are competing against your own level of ambition, work ethic and self-identity. Concentrate on that, and you will succeed. Get distracted by someone else’s opportunities, and you just lost your own game.
• No one owes you anything. Let that sink in, please. No one owes you a script read, a job, a promotion, a chance, a contact, a way in, their time or even basic respect. If someone gives you any of those things, in any form, recognize that as a gift and THANK THEM. When you let go of what people can do for you and empower yourself instead with what you realistically bring to the table, the world around you makes a giant, fantastic shift. You start to control your experience in this industry instead of reacting to someone else’s.
• If you’re not having any fun at all, stop. There are so many amazing things to do in this world. If you’d met me twenty years ago, you would be shocked to see me now, not being a world-changing United States senator and future president. Be open to change. I was.

You can best get someone to help you by helping yourself then offering to help them.

This is a business of know-how and know-WHO. Spend time learning everything you can, at every level you achieve, and helping everyone you can, whatever level you are at. Your peers are your greatest resource; cultivate them! Unless you’re an Oscar winner yourself, Denzel and Julia are not the people you need to meet; they already have a pile of people they already are indebted to and taking care of. Instead, do everything you can to help your circle of peers achieve because when they do, they are going to open the door to bring you in with them. And if you are the one who gets through a door first, bring the people who have taken care of you in with you - at their level of competence. Don’t offer or accept jobs that greatly surpass someone’s (or your) ability; everyone loses.

Don’t let your opening line to anyone be “Can you do ____ for me?” Ever. This is not a taker’s market. It immediately sets you up as an energy drain, and it shifts the balance of power between you and that person. Equally as awful, don’t ever have a conversation with someone and not know who they are and what they do if there was time to find out. Go see their film or watch their show or read their book or visit their Web site before meeting them. When I’m on a speaker’s panel, I spend the days before researching my fellow panelists so I can draw their experiences into a discussion point or have a conversation with them afterward about something they’ve done that I’m dying to learn more about.

Don’t think I don’t know that mentors are wonderful. But they are not the people to break you into the industry! Your mentor(s) will show up when you are already just in the door, working your hardest, making everyone’s life easier around you. Believe me, someone will approach YOU to offer you assistance and guidance. You have to earn a mentor and an advisor just like you have to earn everything else in this industry.

If you want to break in and have no contacts, you are going to be a production assistant (PA) somewhere. That is our industry’s entry-level position, and it pays about $500/week. YOU WILL NEED A CAR. So work all you can to get some savings a buy a car of some kind before you jump in. And once you battle your way into that PA job, be the best PA that company has ever seen! You are being evaluated on your work ethic at every level of this industry. Learn new stuff on your own time, not the company’s. You will get a shot at a promotion because of your attitude, not your skill set. Show them you are a person who invests in your company and its projects, and they will want to keep you around - or give you a great referral for your next position.

I want you to ask yourself if the real question you are asking is “How do I start making BIG money in this industry?” And the answer is, you invest years of time and sweat equity, and you will be rewarded. It might be one year; it might be ten. But getting filthy rich won’t be the very first thing you do. Those American Idol winners didn’t come from nowhere to get a record deal. Look at the backgrounds of every single winner. There are years of toil and training and passion behind that victory. It just LOOKS like they got handed their dream. They earned it, and so must you! And earning it is FUN because, hey, this is Hollywood!

Throughout your time in this industry, whatever level you are at, don’t prioritize fame and funds over fulfillment. It will cost you dearly, both professionally and emotionally. If you are in ANY business just so everyone will know you and be envious and want to be just like you, you are in a world of trouble. Your self-worth is low (yes, it is! YES IT IS.), and no amount of outside adoration or material things will make you feel better. In fact, it will make you feel worse because any success will make you feel like a fraud (which is why drugs and alcohol consume so many people in this town). Fix all of that in therapy, not the production office. And don’t sell me or anyone else out by creating, funding or green lighting stereotypical, embarrassing, dangerous or flat-out wrong images about entire groups of people so that you can make a quick buck. A conscience is better currency than cash in the long haul in this industry. You will not be at the top every minute of this ride. Sometimes you will have dry spells, and your reputation and honor and goodwill will take you farther than your savings account ever could.

Not that money doesn’t matter! This business costs cash to survive. You have to pay to live, to be in professional organizations, to learn at seminars, to enter competitions, to network and entertain, to make a reel, to have a car (please have a car), etc. If you don’t have the money to do all of that yet, get a second and third job if you have to. Don’t sit on the sidelines saying you can’t jump into the business because things cost too much. And really don’t spend all of your time writing a script instead of working nine jobs, especially if you haven’t earned the cash to take the classes and read the books and meet the people who will teach you how to write a script you can actually sell! Work at the mall, answer phones, work at Best Buy (get that employee discount!), just pay your bills, and invest every extra dime in your career!

This is for anyone trying to enter the business: be sure you are not getting things backwards. Imagine an attorney saying, “If I can just win enough high-profile cases, I can earn enough money for law school.” Or a doctor trying to do enough high-paying plastic surgery so he can pay for med school! That’s what the industry hears when you are spending all of your effort and limited funds trying to start at the top of the game by directing a film or selling a script to the top company in Hollywood or selling a show to a network. What I want you to consider doing is getting a job and learning and earning you way to the top. Because it will be so much harder for anyone to knock you down if you are standing at the top on a strong foundation. Put your money and time into education and preparation and EXPERIENCE. The success and money will come.

Hands down, the easiest way to move up in Hollywood is to thank the people who help you.

No one in Hollywood ever gets thanked. And I don’t mean an e-mail that says “Thank you.” Not because that’s not perfectly lovely and appropriate, but because it’s rarely an equal investment on your part for all someone has invested in you. If someone gives you something valuable, like a job or a referral or fifteen inspirational, guidance-filled minutes of their time, then give them something valuable in return (a gift certificate, a volunteer day, a donation to their charity, etc.). At the beginning of a job, I usually give a gift to whoever referred me for the job. And at the end, I usually give gifts to my bosses - who have paid me thousands and thousands of dollars and given me an awesome production credit. Do you know how many other staffers gripe instead about not getting gifts from their bosses?

People will remember the gestures you make that say “I give you the return gift of my time.” That might be walking to a coffee shop to send someone a gift card. Or it might be coming to their office to file on a day their assistant leaves early. Actions speak louder than words…and time speaks way louder than e-mails.

When I talk to people who are just starting out, they think that their biggest obstacle will be successful people holding them back or not helping them up. WRONG. Your biggest barrier is your attitude! Are you here to learn, earn and return…or do you want to get as much as you can for as little effort as you can expend?

So many people want to start at the top or rocket there after only a few gigs. They have such fantastic talent and ambition, but they open by founding a production company or looking for a three-picture deal. Based on what experience and contacts? Don’t do it! Not just because it’s extraordinarily entitled, which is horrifying to the industry people you meet who have invested years in learning their craft (and might otherwise have happily helped you), but also because if you get a big break too soon, you’ll have no skills or contacts to make it pay off for you (”Grand Opening…Grand Closing” - thanks Chris Rock).

No, you don’t have to start at the bottom if you know the right people. But there’s no point in anyone taking a helicopter to the top of Mount Everest just to get to the top as fast as you can. You’ll have no idea how to survive in that brutal climate. And what’s really interesting to anyone who meets a mountain climber is the actual story of how they got to the top. That’s where you’re going to learn all you need to know to work the heck out of that mountaintop when you get there. The people who created “Amazing Race” and “CSI” didn’t start as the show runners! They entered at their level of knowledge and worked their way up inside of their own hit shows! Where do you think they are now? Running their own hit shows, with the well-earned respect of their staffs.

Not everyone registers the “work your way to the top” approach when I say it. A screenwriter friend goes nuts when people argue back with examples of the “exceptions” - about some crappy movie that still got made, about someone who didn’t know what they were doing but got handed a deal, etc. Unless you have the same deep industry connection or demographic desirability those “exceptions” had, plan on making it on talent and hard work instead - it’s more fun anyway! Besides, if you are invested in making it by breaking all of the rules of the game, you are missing out on all the great opportunities to enjoy tremendous success by playing the game exactly how nearly everyone else is playing it. Why miss out on the great big Hollywood party by hoping to bypass gaining experience and meeting mentors and shaping a creative project from the floor up and passing your experience on to the next group of talented filmmakers? All of that is the good part!

I recently did an interview with Twyman Creative about working in Hollywood and enjoyed answering the questions so much that I wanted to share them here. Here’s the first tip:

Question: What do you recommend for people getting in the industry?

DMA’s Answer: VOLUNTEER TO DO SOMETHING USEFUL FOR SOMEONE WHO CAN TEACH YOU SOMETHING. The only way to get jobs in Hollywood is to know people. The best way to get to know people is to help them achieve their goals. Then they will help you achieve yours - if only by letting you see firsthand how a job is done right!

It’s completely self-defeating in the entertainment industry to be about what you can get from others; people smell a user or a bloodsucker a mile away. Know what your strengths are and volunteer them. If you can type, help someone update their database. If you have a car, offer to drive someone around town on a day they have back-to-back meetings. If you have Internet access, help someone post film announcements at all the hot sites.

When I was a political aide in San Francisco, Tom Bradley was running for governor, and he was coming to town from Los Angeles. I called his office and said, “I’d be happy to drive Mayor Bradley anywhere he needs to go.” They cleared it with him and my boss, and I spent about sixteen hours talking politics and personal history with a legend. He offered to give me a great reference for grad school, too.